Grants Birth Story

The birth of Grant was so completely different from Charlie and Olive. I guess they like having their own stories. So here is Grants story. 

I'll start with his due date of April 11. As the day approached I hadn't felt like my body had done much preparation although I was hoping he would get here some time before that date. My mom arrived on the 10th. She was such a huge help with meals, the kids, and keeping our home in order. I'm grateful for the part she played in keeping me busy despite my disappointment of waiting for Grants arrival. 

I'll never trust a due date again. A week past and as we approached the 2 week past I was ok but feeling ready. I had a couple different days I thought labor was starting but they never lasted more than 2 hours. The contractions would disappear and I would feel normal again. 

My midwife Rebecca gave  me options for inducing, an herbal drink, stripping the membranes, or breaking the water. I was hesitant and anxious about forcing it to happened. So I decided to wait. I enjoyed the wait with a few extra visits to the new Provo City Temple. Each visit gave me such a sense of peace and excitement. I found much to be grateful for in this wait. Then I had a night of false labor and I decided maybe we would need to push this thing a long with some help. 

We planned on Saturday morning the 23rd to get it going but I received a message from Rebecca that said she was with another mom birthing so we would have to start later in the day. I was a bit relieved hoping my body would turn the switch and start labor on its own. My mom and I cleaned the house all morning. I was excited and grateful knowing the wait would soon be over. 

Rebecca called once she finished her birth. She needed a shower and then would head over to us. She told me my options again and told us to prepare the tub. After that phone call I started feeling anxious. I was about to jump off a cliff and put myself through something very difficult. I loved the process of going about labor on my own, i didn't want to force it but that's what we were planning to do.  

My mom thankfully left with the kids so I get pull myself together and start to focus. Andy and I were able to connect and discuss what we would do. We prayed and he gave me a blessing. I started to feel relaxed and giggly and excited. We walked up and down the sidewalk under the grey looming skies until Rebecca arrived at 3:45pm. 

By that point I started feeling very light contractions, i figured because of the walking, Rebecca gave me an herbal drink mixed with OJ to heat things up. The contractions started increasing within 30 minutes and were still very manageable. I enjoyed the conversation between my cousin Meghan, Rebecca, and Andy. It was a nice distraction and relaxed me.

I told Rebecca it would be nice to have the baby by the kids bedtime at 8. She suggested breaking the water. I agreed and we were surprised what we found. My bag of water was extremely thick! It sounded like an inter tube and took Rebecca several tries to break it. A small amount of water poured out and we headed to the tub which is always a treat to get into. 

It was now after 6 and I was feeling much discomfort in my legs. The contractions were so brief that I felt like things were manageable. I'd have 10 seconds of craziness and then it would calm down enough where I reminded myself: this is good pain, I'm going to see that baby soon! I also visualized my cervix thinning and stretching while reciting "up and over the baby". Andy's hands clung to my shoulders and his physical touch gave me so much strength. My cousin Meghan poured water repeatedly over my belly and back. Rebecca's words reassured me that things were progressing and we would be done soon. I felt so much gratitude for the support of all these strong people around me. 

This period was a short 40 minutes. Grants head came out and  while we waited for the body Rebecca carefully took the cord from around his neck, then after another contraction his body also emerged. I held him tightly in my arms adoring his beautiful face. I looked to confirm my whole pregnancy feelings, that yes, he was a boy. 

I'm love giving birth. Its not easy but its worth it. The joy and excitement that comes after labor is worth that short period of agony. Babies and giving life are a complete miracle. I feel such gratitude to be blessed with a body that creates physical bodies for God's spirit children. 

Blessing Way

My cute friend Marissa threw me a blessing way.

She is pretty wonderful.

I feel lucky that she is my battle buddy through this entrepreneur business start up deal. 

See, her husband is Andy's business partner. 

Now, you may be wondering, what is a blessing way? 

A blessing way is all about the mom. Unlike a baby shower, a blessing way is an opportunity to show the mom support. No baby gifts, no cheesy baby games, just positive vibes and rituals that help the soon to be mother feel support and love.

That's exactly what happened. 

Everyone came with a bead and and shared a thought of what that bead represents. Marissa is making a bracelet with all the beads and i will wear that in labor as a reminder of the support i have from all these wonderful women. 

My sister-in-law made the beautiful flower crown.

Here is our great group of ladies. Top Left: Marissa, Emalie Warnick (my visiting teacher), my Aunt Colleen, cousin Meghan Black, friend and neighbor Shannon, mother-in-law Sundy.

Bottom Left: Aubrey Sanchez (MBASA friend), Meg Vanwagnen (Neighbor and friend), me, and Suzanne Brigman (MBASA friend and joy school mom).

I felt so much love from everyone. They all had such kind and encouraging words to say. Marissa even gave me a foot massage! 

I feel so blessed to have such a great support system for me and this baby. 

A day never to be forgotten!

Today is a day never to be forgotten. As a mother of two little ones, i feel like i don't really get time to really think or take care of myself. I do love being a mother! I love taking care of my kids needs. But it is also a job that sucks the life out of me. This morning Andy took the kids to his parents house for the day and night. So from 9am thru tomorrow around 11am I have and will be kid-less. This break has saved my soul. This break has strengthened me. I now feel ready to be a better mom and bring in another baby to our family. The highlights of my day:

-Temple Visit (new Provo City Temple!)

-Pedicure

-Eating Sushi

-Thinking 

(yes just having time and quiet to really think)

This baby is going to be joining us soon. Really any day now but could be as much as another 2 weeks, which isn't ideal but...you never know. I am really trying to make the arrival an exciting thing for the kids, a real birthday celebration! I got balloons today. I have stuff ready to make a cake. This little babe will either be (i am 99% sure) Eden Inez Lousie Watanabe or Grant Noboru Watanabe.

The reveal will be awesome!  

Baby #3

Baby #3 does not have a name yet because Andy and I have chosen to be abnormal and not find out the gender. When people ask, "Boy or Girl?" And we tell them its a surprise we got nice responses but i feel like inside they are asking, "What in the world are you thinking? Its a surprise either way, now or later." And yes, i do agree with them but we just wanted something different for this pregnancy. I love watching natural birthing video's, or at least i used to before i experienced birth myself :) My favorite ones were the couples who didn't know the gender and finding out at the moment the child emerges. They got me every time and I would have tears running down my face. It was special. I also feel like it will be nice to have an extra motivator through labor, wondering and anticipating that moment. I have also enjoyed not feeling the pressure of getting all the "boy or girl" things ready. I love pulling out white and yellow and orange onsies and just being excited about a baby coming to us. I have a name ready for either gender that comes and i will be so happy to use whichever name it happens to be. Dean or Eden.

The kids have been so excited about the baby. Olive often kisses my belly and tells me she will hold the baby. Charlie tells me he will be a good brother and will hold the baby and be my helper. We pulled out some of the baby clothes recently and both Olive and Charlie dressed their stuffed animals and carried them around like babies. I love how excited they are for the baby!

Rebecca, my midwife, came today for a home visit. She handed off all the supplies we will need for the birth. We went through a checklist of all the things to be ready and honestly, i was just feeling overwhelmed and nervous. There is so much i want to do and prepare but don't feel like i have the physical or emotional strength to carry them out. So my to do list keeps getting longer and meanwhile when my "energy bursts" come hopefully i can accomplish what needs to be done.

I have excited days of thinking about laboring for this little one and i have scared days of thinking about the work it takes to bring a human into this life. But when all is said and done it really is just a moment. I know my body will handle this birth with great care. I know i can manage the discomforts of labor because i have done it twice! I know that labor is a mental game and i just need to stay positive and relax. Breath in peace and Breath out Love!

Women in the Scriptures

This third pregnancy has really turned me to the Lord. I have felt a great desire to know more about myself and the value I have as a woman and daughter of God. I have been reading like crazy! I am enjoying, Women and The Priesthood by Sheri Dew, The Gift of Giving Life by Felice Austin, The Lost Teachings of Jesus on the Sacred Place of Women by Alonzo L. Gaskill, and the blog Women in the Scriptures. I have been attending a stake institute class that is on Women in the Old and New Testament, which I love! I love the insights and connection i feel to women in these ancient scriptures that I never knew existed!

I have a firm testimony of God's plan for all His children. Men and Women hold an equal place in His heart. Yes, we have different responsibilities, but that doesn't mean one is lesser than the other. We both play an essential role in His Plan of Salvation. I am grateful to be a part of that plan and to know and feel of my worth to my Heavenly Father! I am excited to teach my sons and daughters these eternal truths.

My Testimony of Motherhood

My heart is being filled with added light and truth about who I am and my Divine Nature. Divine Nature is something I have learned about since I was a young woman. But it is not until now, as an adult of 28 years of age, that I am starting to grasp what that really is and who I really am as a daughter of God.

This journey began as a friend of mine recommended and let me borrow a book of hers called, The Gift of Giving Life. She raved about the contents with non-stop excitement. Now in my second trimester of pregnancy i was ready to start reading some good birthing material, as I had already gone through my regular, pregnancy life saving books.

The book opened up my eyes to the depth of my role as a mother, a vehicle in bringing God's spirit children into this life, being a co-creator with him! I am reminded of my patriarchal blessing which talks about my role as a co-creator with Heavenly Father in creating bodies for His spirit children. In my innocence, I saw myself standing next to Him using special powers to create humans and I was like, "Whoa!". When reality hit, or maturity, i realized that the phrase meant i would get pregnant and have babies. The awe i previously felt of that gift faded away and the phrase became very ordinary to me.

Once I became pregnant with my first, I quickly felt like it was a punishment not something to treasure and love. Even in my subsequent pregnancies i felt the feeling of "Why!" "This is too hard" Is this really worth it?" I am currently pregnant with number 3 and during my first 22 weeks of pregnancy i felt like i was in a dark hole. I was unmotivated, sick, and tired...most of the time. I often thought,"This isn't fair to Andy or my children". I felt so unavailable to them. Once I came out of that fog or got through that period of adversity things changed immensely. That's when i started reading my pregnancy books, writing in my journal my feelings of gratitude, and really feeling excited about this baby.

I don't know why some women have to experience such hard pregnancies (i realize some have it much harder than i do). But i do know, that after great tribulation commeth the blessings. I see myself playing a role similar to the Saviors. He sacrificed an infinite sacrifice to give all mankind eternal life! Women sacrifice to bring God's spirit children here to mortal life, that they may have the opportunity to gain eternal life. As women, we play an ESSENTIAL role to God's plan of salvation. I am grateful to know my part in His plan and the worth and value I feel from that.

Olive's Birth

D&C 58:4

After much tribulation come the blessings.

(i wrote this on Olive's birthday. i just couldn't contain all my joy and happiness. Its now been a week and i am ready to share this experience with everyone!)

 Olive is here and she is less than 24 hours old and  i can't help to share my excitement with everyone. I feel like i waited so long for her and then she came so quickly, it was quite a whirlwind. Charlie was 2 weeks early so i was expecting a similar time frame with Olive. But no, Olive had her own schedule and came at a perfect time. 

The last two weeks I have been experiencing contractions, cramps, crazy mood swings, bloody show, energy bursts...all the works. I was constantly thinking, "maybe today is the day". But when her due date came and went, i chose to stop thinking that way. She would come when she came. 

Sunday I was feeling my regular, irregular contractions and cramps throughout the day and once evening came we just went to bed not thinking anything about it. I woke up at 1:30 am with a very uncomfortable contraction. I couldn't fall back asleep and decided to see when the next one would come. It was 10 minutes later and once again, very uncomfortable. So i waited for the next one, about 10 minutes. I woke Andy up just to let him know. He could tell these were a lot stronger than my previous contractions and asked me if he should call Rebecca. It took me one or two more contractions before i was ready to call her. She was then on her way. Andy started filling the tub, gave me a sweet priesthood blessing, and i was trying to stay relaxed and calm through each coming contraction. We turned the soft music on, lit the candles, and put some lavender oil in the tub. It was a relaxing setting and I was comfortable with the labor so far.

Rebecca arrived around 3am. Andy and I were managing on our own but i was glad when she showed up because the contractions started picking up in intensity. It was no longer comfortable or quiet. Each contraction brought a wave of awful nausea. Rebecca kept saying that this would go quick and be a short labor but i thought, "Baloney! We just started". With each contraction i repeated my positive self talk over and over in my head. I could do this. I've done this! A break was coming soon. I would have my baby girl soon. Just breath. Relax. When Rebecca said i had passed transition i couldn't believe it! No way I had gone through that moment of despair. But she confirmed that physically this baby was on it's way down the birth canal. I guess the positive talking in my head got me through unaware. And Andy has now told me that he could even tell i had gone through transition with how i sounded vocally.

I'm not sure how many times i pushed, maybe 3 or 4 times, and her head was out. Rebecca said that she was still in the caul, meaning the bag of waters never broke. Sure enough reaching down to feel her head it was covered by whatever the caul is made of . As the rest of her body was pushed out of me the bag broke and Rebecca gently pulled it off and handed her to me. It was only 4:42 am. It was an emotional experience for many reasons: My baby girl was here, this all happened so fast i couldn't process it, the labor was done, HOORAY (kind of- there was still more work for my body to do)! 

I was able to hold her for a good while and she latched right onto me already beginning to breastfeed. That was awesome! I was still feeling mild contractions and cramps because of the placenta. So when that was delivered, maybe 15 minutes after, i finally felt relief! My next piece of great news is i didn't tear! Rebecca said, "Charlie paved the way!" I feel GREAT! No ice diapers for me! 

This birth was what i had hoped and dreamed of. It was such a short time of intense discomfort but then it was over and i now feel like a superstar. The best part of all is that Olive is here. She is beautiful. I love her with all my heart! I loved seeing Charlie meet her for the first time, wanting to share his binky and give her a hug. Then he was off wanting to do his own thing. He is going to be a great big brother. Before he went to bed tonight he kept giving her sweet little kisses and my heart just melts.

I am so grateful for Andy who handled this whole labor with great care. He was my support in every way. I couldn't have managed this experience with out him. After all was said and done he was off to school at  7:00 am for a study group, with no sleep at all and a huge grin on his face.

I am so grateful for my midwife, Rebecca. She stayed so calm, supportive, and encouraging. She made sure everything was in order, on track, and safe. I trust her 100%. 

I am grateful for my parents who made the trip from Logan in the middle of the night to also be apart of our team. BUT because they had to stop for Krispy Cream Donuts (who knew they were opened so early!) they missed her arrival by just 5 minutes. The donuts were worth it though. 

And now, I am so grateful for Andy's parents who have been Charlie's little companions while i take care of Olive. I was given instructions not to hold or pick up Charlie for a week. 

So it's true. After much tribulation come the blessings. 

Olive is an incredible little girl. I can't wait to discover her little personality. 

side note to those planning a birth:

Having a natural home birth was AMAZING! 

get educated!

get the birth you want by finding caregivers who also want what you do. check their stats for proof!

its hard work but doable by any mamma.

39 weeks + 5

This is the longest I've ever been pregnant.

I had Charlie at week 38+4. I had the expectation that Olive would be similar. But as each day passes without her here I have to remind myself that its okay and she will come when she is ready.

I actually find myself feeling grateful for the extra time. More time to cherish with Charlie. More time to cherish my sleep. More time to cherish a simple one child life. More time to enjoy going out and meeting people here. More time with Andy. So thank you Olive for a little more time.

We are excited for Olive's arrival. I enjoy finding bows for her head and pretty little dresses. With the help of my mother, we turned a pack-in-play into a beautiful little bassinet.

Last Friday, i started having contractions early in the morning. They were mild but consistent. They lasted until noon when they came to a halt. In that span of time we had blown up the tub, pulled out the newborn diapers, got out the camera, did some cleaning, and were ready to go. It was a disappointment when it stopped. But now i think my body is more ready for her birth and maybe it will be quicker than it otherwise would have been.

My mom came down Friday night in preparation. We thought maybe the labor would pick up again soon after. But now its Tuesday and nothing has happened. I feel great. I feel like Olive could be there for another week and that would be just fine! My mom has been a great help and nice company for these last few days. I admire how patient and kind she has been through all this.

We have tried many things to encourage the labor. One was going to the temple. We had Charlie on the day we attended the temple. Two, the obvious walking and exercise. Three, swinging at the park. Four, going for a hike. And other things as well but I guess she will come when she is ready.

Andy started school today. I am excited for him and all the learning he'll be doing these next two years. I am so grateful for the spouse association that's connected to the MBA program. I have attended fun activities and met some great girls. It is a great support to me as Andy embarks on this new adventure.

No pictures today of my big belly. It is getting bigger no matter what people are saying.

Life in Provo

To catch you up...we now live in Provo. I feel so lucky that Andy had two whole free weeks of no school and no work to help get the house settled and life figured out in Provo. I needed that! I didn't want extra stress during the last weeks of pregnancy. Now that he has started school and I'm on my own I feel like i can manage and i feel so happy...we have a home, we have a cute little Charlie, we have a baby on the way, Andy is loving his first week at school. I feel so happy to be where we are at, it feels so right!

OUR FIRST WEEK

We not only settled our home but we got to know Provo more. We visited several parks and took a hike to Bridal Veil Falls. Our hike to the falls was early in the morning and it was still quite chilly. The only thing we had was an emergency blanket in the car. I was so glad! I used it the most but Charlie did want to wear it a little too. It made me laugh so hard seeing him wrapped up inside it. 

I love going to the parks! Every park we visit there are always other children around Charlie's age. I love watching him interact with other kids. He has been having a great time!

PREGNANCY

I have had some very uncomfortable pregnant days. I will save you from all the complaints i have had. 

I am not sure what has changed, probably just my attitude, but i feel great. I feel grateful to be having a baby. I am grateful she is healthy. I am grateful to be Charlie's mom and that i can give him a little sister. We talk about Olive a lot and this morning he went to her bassinet asking for baby. Its crazy to think that he could just wake up one morning and she will be there. He is excited too! 

I met with my midwife today and everything looks great! I am 38 weeks along. I had Charlie at 38 weeks and 4 days. I know that every baby will come in there own time but i can't help feeling like she could be here any day. I am trying to hold back my excitement and stay calm. 

We are having Olive here in our home. It feels so right and comfortable. Everything is ready we just need her to join us. And believe it or not i am excited to give labor again. As hard as it was, it was an incredible experience and makes me feel so ALIVE! God has blessed women with bodies that create and give life. I love being a part of the whole experience.

ANDY

 And as for my sweetheart... He is so good to me. Serving me at every possible moment. Working so hard to be prepared for school and life once its over. I love seeing him so excited and happy about what he's doing. His greatest desire is to provide for our family and it is a huge bonus when he can do that with the things he enjoys. He is the best father! He loves to play and be with Charlie. And we all know Charlie has always adored him :) 

So here goes the next two years of our life...

My Favorite Day

It's Sunday. A day of worship. A day with my family. A day to be uplifted by testimonies. A day to feel renewed. A day to visit with friends and loved ones. A day to rest. A day to gain a better perspective. A day to give and love and serve! Sadly, today I am sick am not able to enjoy this day in the way that I wish. My family is at church and I am in bed, close to the bathroom, trying to not think about the discomfort I'm feeling. I have music playing which helps. I love the gospel library app. It has all the scriptures and manuals both written and on audio. I was able to listen to the lesson Andy will be teaching today.

Then I started to look up scriptures with the word "sick". Just to see what I could find. 

I loved this one!

Moroni 8:8 Listen to the words of Christ, your Redeemer, your Lord and your God. Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick...

I need that physician, Jesus Christ. He completes me and makes me whole. Even in this physically sick moment I feel his love and comfort. I am often in need of the spiritual care as well. I am grateful that with His help I can overcome, improve, and be a better person. It's work everyday but necessary. If this doesn't make sense remember I am pregnant and sick! I think I am starting to ramble...

Anyway, those are my "sick" thoughts today. 

Here's my Little Olive. I think about her daily. I look forward to being her mother. The time is approaching quickly. I feel so many emotions about the whole thing. Excitement, anxiety, peace, and worry. But I am focusing on the peace because I know I will not be alone. 

Sisters

Its fun being pregnant with a sister. When i was pregnant with Charlie my sister Keli was pregnant with her baby girl. Now its Brook and my turn together. 

Me: 27 weeks Brook: 37 weeks

Me: having a girl Brook: having a boy

Me: Baby #2 Brook: Baby #4

We have a lot to laugh about these days!

Love my family!

Announcing...

After waiting so long to share our news. I'm ready to tell. We are going to have a BABY! Here's a little proof...no i am not just getting chubby, i promise i am pregnant!

I don't even know where to start.

Andy and I took the home-test just after all the holiday celebrations (Christmas, New Years) and it came back positive. We were excited but not ready to tell.

We couldn't keep the secret from my family, who are constantly asking, whether you have a cold or the flu or just saying you're tired, "are you pregnant?" So they all found out fairly quickly. 

But for everyone else, they figured that i really did have a cold, or the flu etc. I felt like not telling made me have to be strong and didn't allow me to complain through the sick period, except for Andy, he heard it all! 

We finally told all Andy's family at the Easter celebration. They were quite surprised and excited for us. 

This pregnancy has been so different from Charlie's. With Charlie i was sick ALL the time, or so it felt. This time i got breaks, feeling mostly sick at night time. I am usually short of breath and often light headed and getting more headaches. These things never happened when i was pregnant with Charlie. Despite all the differences, deep down inside, i felt like i was having a girl. I could only think girl. I have a long list of girl names that has been sitting next to my bed for weeks. I thought, oh dear, i'll have to start over with getting baby clothes. I thought how fun bows and dresses would be. But i didn't know for a fact i would have a girl. It just felt like i would. So i ran with the girl thoughts. 

Maybe i had mothers intuition this round (i sure didn't with Charlie, i had no idea! Andy was the one convinced it would be a boy before we actually knew) its always a 50/50 chance. 

Anyway, going to our ultrasound today and finally seeing the proof sealed the deal. It's a girl.

We couldn't be happier. Charlie is going to be the best big brother! 

I am feeling better. I still have a few sick days. But i love feeling her move inside me. I love preparing for her birth and thinking of her joining our family. I am so grateful she is healthy and developing well. 

Looking forward to and preparing and planning to see her come September! 

one year ago

This is what happened one year ago today.

My body is healed from the birth of Charlie and my memory of that pain, gone. I know it was bad...i just don't remember how bad. I love thinking back to being pregnant! I loved having a baby inside me moving. I felt alive and great! I have had two new babies enter my life and newborns just melt my heart.

 It's hard to believe its all ready been a year. I have been reflecting a lot on Charlie's first year of life. Its been a really fun year. I had several very tough days and nights. I had many sweet moments. I have watched the wheels turning in his head as he has learned how to roll, crawl, walk, throw a ball, take lids off stuff, play with blocks, make sounds with his voice, etc. He just becomes more sweet everyday and i am loving being his mother!

I often ponder when it will be time for another baby. I started thinking about that since Charlie was born! I say that cause i want Charlie to have siblings close to his age to play with and be close friends. Who knows when Charlie will get a brother or a sister. I love thinking about names. If Andy had no say in name giving, our next boy would be Dean Whitaker Watanabe and if it was a girl she would be Demi Yvonne Watanabe. I also love Andy's grandma's name Suyeko. If we named a daughter after her i would love to call her Sue. Anyway, now i am just rambling. Life is wonderful.

Happy First Birthday to my sweet baby Charlie.

38 weeks

Let the real countdown begin! Andy and I have been enjoying our countdown chain. We started it in September. It was wrapped around our doorway many times. Now it is one short strand. It's hard to believe the time is arriving! We have enjoyed opening a link everyday. They say things like: go get ice cream, play hangman with baby names, make something for baby, go for a walk, etc. So we have had something fun to do together everyday before he arrives. Oh, if you're wondering about the white, the white represents past the due date. It allows me to go over my due date 9 days but i don't know if we'll make it THAT far. 

Here is our countdown link from last night. I read a book called Birthing from Within and it focuses on couples doing birth art. So we both had to draw our own picture of our interpretation of the birth.  

This first picture is Andy's. He drew a picture of the baby's arrival into this new world. He kind of cheated by looking online for baby pictures. He found this really silly picture of babies in space. So here is our son in space :) 

 

Ok... here is my picture with a little bit deeper meaning. This is a picture of me giving birth. Each of the colors on my belly represent a portion of the labor. Red- the pain and fear of the unknown. Orange- discomfort. Yellow- excitement. Green- the entering into "labor land". Indigo- Calmness and Peace. Violet- complete surrendering. The three heads behind me are my midwife Rebecca, Andy, and my mom. They will be sending me support, encouragement, and love. So an overall I need to look inward. Yes, i will be experiencing an incredible amount of pain but my mind doesn't have to suffer. I will be able to find peace and surrender myself to the experience. 

A fun thing that Andy and i have also been doing is using baby's stuffed animals to test in his baby stuff. So here is Sleep Lamb in the car seat. Perfect fit! He's so sweet isn't he :)

We are having so much fun preparing for this guy to get here. I am slowly feeling my body preparing. It's an exciting feeling. 2 more weeks to go but who knows he may come sooner or he may come later! I keep telling him, "We're ready when you are!" 

My preparations...

Positive Self Talk:


Although i am very excited and committed to having a natural birth, let's face it...I am a WORRIER... doubts and fears naturally arise and that's why i have written down positive statements to stay positive about what will be happening. This is really just to give me a a peace of mind and remind myself that what i am doing is an exciting and wonderful thing!


 Here they are:


- My birth will go exactly as it should
- My job is simply to relax and allow the birth to happen
- I am ready and prepared for child birth
- The power and intensity of my contractions cannot be stronger than me, because it is me
- I allow my body's natural anesthesia to flow through my body
- I surrender to the contractions and relinquish control of the forces within my body
- Birth is a normal and natural event for which my body has been perfectly designed
- My body will give birth in it's own time
- My body had a wide-open space for my baby to descend
- I surrender my birthing over to my baby and my body
- My body knows how to have this baby, just as my body knew how to grow this baby
- I know that everything is normal and progressing
- I will breathe deeply and slowly to relax my muscles and make it easier for my uterus to work
- I trust in my ability to give birth
- I know our baby feels our calmness and confidence
- Birth is a SAFE and MIRACULOUS experience
- My baby will be born healthy and at the perfect time
- I embrace the concept of healthy pain
- Good strong contractions help my baby come into the world
- I accept this labor and know it is just what my baby and my body need
- I am a powerful, loving, and creative being
- My body is beautifully and wonderfully made
-My baby will be born when he is ready
- I look forward to embracing this EMPOWERING experience
- The strength of my contractions is an expression of my own strength
- I trust my instincts to do what is best for my baby
- I am a strong and capable woman
- I will have a STRONG and HEALTHY baby
- The power of birth strengthens me, my baby, and my husband
- I trust my body


If anyone wants to add to my list, feel free! 
p.s. this is what i look like these days

28 weeks

Active Birth: I can do it!

 My new favorite book as i prepare for the birth of a real, live human! I am planning to go natural all the way. A way to make sure that happens is to have a birth in a birthing center with a midwife. I get quite excited at times and other times feel like i am  crazy! But as i study and read i know i can do it. I just have to prepare. They say its like running a marathon. There is no way you can do it if you don't do what you can to prepare. Active Birth helps me do exactly that, PREPARE!

The other thing that is helping me prepare is our Brio Birthing class. Every time i walk away from that class i feel comfort, i feel calm, i feel excitement! I have a great teacher, Alyssa Bray. The manual is also a great source of information. Sheesh... it's hard to believe a real human boy is inside of me. I feel him kick and nudge me every once and a while, and it's still hard to believe. He and i will both be going through this birthing experience together so i want to make it comfortable for him as well as for me.

We're having a Wampaku!!

 We went to Utah Imaging Center in Millcreek for our ultrasound on Saturday morning. I woke up that morning feeling like it was Christmas. I actually woke up at 7 am but tried sleeping for a half hour. I did my best. At 7:30 am i started nudging Andy to get him up. We got ready and out of the house by 8:45. The women at the Center were so kind and warm. They were just as excited as i was. At this Center they do all sorts of medical work. Ultrasounds are more rare so they get excited when pregnant women come in. Our Ultrasound tech was wonderful! Once we found out it was a boy she kept calling him a little Wampaku, which is a Japanese word for little rascal.
 Some of my first thoughts after finding out it was a boy were: I wish Andy wasn't right...What do i do with a boy?... It's weird that a boy is inside of my stomach... I hope he is gonna be a mamma's boy....I am so excited!!

 We were both beaming the rest of the day! 

  Now we are trying to brainstorm names. We originally liked Dean. It's not in concrete so we are continuing to explore. We also like Grant and Baer. Yeah, Baer. It's kind of weird but for some crazy reason we both like it. Oh we are excited! He has had two boy cousins and a girl cousin come earlier this year and one more that we will be finding out the gender soon. He will have lots of cousins his age. I can't wait till he gets here and we can start playing :)

Julia Jones

Isn't she beautiful!! Julia Jones is here! I am very jealous of my oldest sister Keli who seems to have very mild deliveries. I hope i get her genes, my fingers are crossed.

Julia Jones 

May 31, 2011

5lbs 6 oz

A baby on the way

A baby is on its way! Andy and I are thrilled. I was suppose to be having some swallowing tests at the doctors but there first question was if there was any possibility i was pregnant. I thought it's possible. We weren't preventing it. They needed to know as soon as possible so the day after my first missed period we got a home test and it was positive! It was hard to believe it. It didn't feel real until i started getting sick.

It's funny because we were talking to a midwife, i was at 5 weeks, and i told her that i wasn't even sick. She said just wait, it starts about 6-8 weeks. Sure enough, the next week i was feeling quite nauseous. The nausea hasn't gone away since, so life has been a little rough.

I have been interested in having a natural birth. Before i even conceived i was researching and looking at my options. I watched two movies "The Business of Being Born" and "Pregnant in America". I had to take it with a grain of salt. They are very anti hospital and medicine, which i am not. I did learn that most other countries have 80% of their births by midwives at home and their mortality rates are a lot lower than Americas. Interesting.

I just want to have a natural birth because it feels right to me and to Andy. I am very excited about it. The two books that i love and have inspired me are, The Guide to Natural Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin, and Birthing from Within ( i can't remember the authors name). A women's body has been made to have a baby. Interventions can be a blessing but they can also make things worse. I am very grateful i have 7 more months to prepare mentally, emotionally, and physically.

I found my midwife! She is a wonderful lady. Rebecca Williams, she has her own solo practice in Murray, Utah. I toured her birth center which seems perfect to me. It is right next to a hospital in case of emergency, and an emergency is pretty rare. Midwives are very capable and understand this whole process of pregnancy and delivery and how to make it easier on the mothers body. Rebecca's c section rate is 4% (compared to Americas rising 30%...or higher i can't remember). She said for a first time mom a transfer to the hospital is 10% chance. We'll see how it goes. I know i can do hard things...i hope!

can't wait till i have a big belly to show off :) 

The baby is due November 10th!