2017 Goals

Here we are as a family in 2017. 

This was a gift given to us from Reggie and Linda (my brother and his wife). 

Tonight is a rare night. I have some extra time! 

I am going to take advantage of this time to write down 

my thoughts, feelings, and goals for this new year. 

As I contemplated what goals I wanted to make this year it seemed clear I wanted to be healthy.

Spiritually. Mentally. Physically.

So here is the plan! 

Spiritually: Feast upon the scriptures. Really study them. Not in my bed with the lights off just before i go to bed (like i have in the past). I will set aside time in the evening after kids go to bed, to study the lesson's for the coming week. I will have a journal to record thoughts, questions, and testimony. Its now January 10 and I have been doing it consistently every day so far. It has been wonderful to have that dedicated time to think and ponder and learn about my Savior.

Mentally: Practice yoga and use a mantra every day. Listen to podcasts. Doing this has made a big difference in my life! I struggle with anxiety and negative thoughts. Slowing down and practicing yoga feels like i am becoming more balanced. Whats been even a greater help has been the mantras, I am alive. I am bold. I create. I accept, I embrace. I awaken. I am supported. ETC.

Repeating these phrases has given my mind greater strength. 

They have given me more confidence.

I have felt more love.

I have felt a greater connection to my Savior. 

I recognize His role in each of the phrases.

I have found a couple of great Pocasts. Some religious. Some healing. Some motherhood. 

A few times i have put my headphones on for 30 minutes to listen. Blocking out the screaming but playing children. Listening relaxes me. It grounds me. It inspires me. It helps me feel human again.

Physically: I told Andy last year I wanted to take an adventure with him. He was an adventurous man before we got married. He climbed tall rock mountains and visited foreign countries. Sadly, that ended when we got married and had children. I told Andy we needed to take an adventure together. We are currently planning a backpacking trip to Yosemite. I am really excited...but need to put my fear of bears in the back pocket. We need to prepare. Yoga, climbing, hiking, is going on the calendar frequently the next 6 months so that we will be ready by June. 

With these goals, on the surface, they seems to be all about myself. Selfish. 

A step further and one might see that these goals are going to allow me to be a better wife, mother, and daughter of God. A person who is more capable, confident, and able to love. 

Now for a family update!

Andy left his startup Whistic. 

He is now onto bigger and better things! 

He is helping with another startup called Advinate and also has a full time job at Adobe.

 He is a busy man and manages it with such great ease.

I am grateful for the loving and playful father he is. 

Charlie is 5 years old. 

He loves earning stickers for his chore chart.

He hopes to earn a flying dragon once completed. 

He makes his bed, empties the dishwasher, cleans up toys, vacuums, empties trash cans,

and whatever other odd jobs he can find.

He loves building with legos! And I am constantly impressed with his creations. 

Olive is 3 years old. 

She is a fancy girl. She changes her clothes at least 3 times a day.

She loves twirling and running around the house. 

She gets excited for any chance to put on "lips" (my lip gloss).

She is a sweet big sister to Grant and loves to "babysit" him.

I love getting to cuddle with Olive. She gives great hugs!

 Grant is 8 months old.
He is so happy!
He is army crawling everywhere.
He gets up on his hands and knees to rock back and forth.
He will pull himself up to stand against furniture.
He has 3 teeth and one on its way.
He loves Charlie and Olive and watches them very closely.
They can easily make him smile or laugh.

Family is such a tremendous blessing.
Thinking about each one makes my heart feel like it could burst.
With great privileges comes great responsibility.
I do feel that responsibility and want to fulfill my role as a wife and mother as best I can!

Grants first 6 months

I have not written enough about Grant!

Oh how I love him!

He is sweet and smiley.

He is cuddly and rarely fusses. 

He gets so much attention from his brother and sister.

He is rolling and sitting. 

First foods: peaches and sweet potatoes.

He loves walking around in his walker and rolling around on the floor with toys.

He is growing too fast. 

I LOVE this baby so much! 

Grants Birth Story

The birth of Grant was so completely different from Charlie and Olive. I guess they like having their own stories. So here is Grants story. 

I'll start with his due date of April 11. As the day approached I hadn't felt like my body had done much preparation although I was hoping he would get here some time before that date. My mom arrived on the 10th. She was such a huge help with meals, the kids, and keeping our home in order. I'm grateful for the part she played in keeping me busy despite my disappointment of waiting for Grants arrival. 

I'll never trust a due date again. A week past and as we approached the 2 week past I was ok but feeling ready. I had a couple different days I thought labor was starting but they never lasted more than 2 hours. The contractions would disappear and I would feel normal again. 

My midwife Rebecca gave  me options for inducing, an herbal drink, stripping the membranes, or breaking the water. I was hesitant and anxious about forcing it to happened. So I decided to wait. I enjoyed the wait with a few extra visits to the new Provo City Temple. Each visit gave me such a sense of peace and excitement. I found much to be grateful for in this wait. Then I had a night of false labor and I decided maybe we would need to push this thing a long with some help. 

We planned on Saturday morning the 23rd to get it going but I received a message from Rebecca that said she was with another mom birthing so we would have to start later in the day. I was a bit relieved hoping my body would turn the switch and start labor on its own. My mom and I cleaned the house all morning. I was excited and grateful knowing the wait would soon be over. 

Rebecca called once she finished her birth. She needed a shower and then would head over to us. She told me my options again and told us to prepare the tub. After that phone call I started feeling anxious. I was about to jump off a cliff and put myself through something very difficult. I loved the process of going about labor on my own, i didn't want to force it but that's what we were planning to do.  

My mom thankfully left with the kids so I get pull myself together and start to focus. Andy and I were able to connect and discuss what we would do. We prayed and he gave me a blessing. I started to feel relaxed and giggly and excited. We walked up and down the sidewalk under the grey looming skies until Rebecca arrived at 3:45pm. 

By that point I started feeling very light contractions, i figured because of the walking, Rebecca gave me an herbal drink mixed with OJ to heat things up. The contractions started increasing within 30 minutes and were still very manageable. I enjoyed the conversation between my cousin Meghan, Rebecca, and Andy. It was a nice distraction and relaxed me.

I told Rebecca it would be nice to have the baby by the kids bedtime at 8. She suggested breaking the water. I agreed and we were surprised what we found. My bag of water was extremely thick! It sounded like an inter tube and took Rebecca several tries to break it. A small amount of water poured out and we headed to the tub which is always a treat to get into. 

It was now after 6 and I was feeling much discomfort in my legs. The contractions were so brief that I felt like things were manageable. I'd have 10 seconds of craziness and then it would calm down enough where I reminded myself: this is good pain, I'm going to see that baby soon! I also visualized my cervix thinning and stretching while reciting "up and over the baby". Andy's hands clung to my shoulders and his physical touch gave me so much strength. My cousin Meghan poured water repeatedly over my belly and back. Rebecca's words reassured me that things were progressing and we would be done soon. I felt so much gratitude for the support of all these strong people around me. 

This period was a short 40 minutes. Grants head came out and  while we waited for the body Rebecca carefully took the cord from around his neck, then after another contraction his body also emerged. I held him tightly in my arms adoring his beautiful face. I looked to confirm my whole pregnancy feelings, that yes, he was a boy. 

I'm love giving birth. Its not easy but its worth it. The joy and excitement that comes after labor is worth that short period of agony. Babies and giving life are a complete miracle. I feel such gratitude to be blessed with a body that creates physical bodies for God's spirit children.